Master the art of showing confidence at work: 5 actionable tips

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Self-confidence is an often misunderstood trait. Loud, flashy, and outgoing behavior can seem like self-confidence, but that’s not always the reality. Sometimes rest can be confidence, just like humility and unpretentiousness, or owning basic possessions. Without those commonly accepted indicators of trust, you might not realize you don’t have any at all. But trust is needed to get where you want to be. It’s necessary to make a team stronger, stay motivated to work and make those bold requests.

Yota Trump is a coach on a mission to help technology leaders connect to their inner confidence. As a coach and founder of Together in Tech, a London tech gathering that has grown into a global network of 6,000 people building their businesses while supporting each other, Trom has seen firsthand the patterns of self-doubt and imposter syndrome that plague many leaders. experienced. Trom started her own career as a software engineer and rose to senior positions at Amazon and Yahoo before earning her master’s degrees in positive psychology and coaching psychology. She is also a visiting lecturer at University College London (UCL) in humanistic leadership and management.

By helping its clients realize their potential and understand their self-imposed limitations, Trom has seen them become more confident in their abilities and better able to build on their strengths, leading to greater success in their chosen field . This success comes in the form of huge pay raises, breakthrough promotions, and complete career spills. Here’s how you can make this happen for yourself.

Contents

1. Understand what trust is

Trom believes that self-confidence is a skill that can be developed. She suggests that people should first identify the areas where they already feel strong and confident, of which “everyone has at least one area”. Once identified, they can recognize patterns and build their confidence in other areas.

To do this, think of three areas of your life that you feel good about and know you are doing well. “Confidence is the feeling of acknowledging that you are good at something,” Trom said. So dig into the reasons why you feel that way about those things. You may have developed the skills, have been doing them for a long time, or feel like you have a natural talent. No matter how small, unpack your existing confidence in those specific areas.

Then think of “three things you’re less good at that you think could be improved,” and apply the same lens. Why do you feel insecure about these things? Knowing that you have a track record of successfully completing those things on the first list, “take that confidence into the second list and think about it the same way.” Feelings of confidence in one area can be translated into another once you know how they originated. Now that the gap between where you are where you need to be is clearer, you can work to fill it.

2. Find your inner peace

“Identifying your strengths and maximizing them comes more naturally to some than others,” Trom said, “but the most confident people are also the most authentic.” They know who they are and they know how they show up, and this is consistent throughout the week.

Cultivating this consistency and connection starts with self-awareness and leads to making an action plan. For the awareness step, Trom advises that you “close your eyes and try to connect with your center.” Find a sense of calm in your physical body, perhaps by anchoring your breath. See if you can describe how you feel when you do this, perhaps “aware, open, peaceful, calm, receptive, clear.” Labeling how you feel when you are fully in the present moment means you can return to this moment the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation.

“Your center is where your confidence exists,” Trom said. If you can revisit this place, you can find that sense of inner confidence that can go awry with stress. Think of the words you have come up with and recite them like mantras. Use the words to reconnect with your inner stability and peace.

3. Upgrade your self-talk

Build and show inner confidence by being aware of the words you use to describe yourself. Trom encourages her clients to “use words of reinforcement and tell themselves stories that are kind and loving,” rather than focusing on their weaknesses.

Think about a recent setback or rejection you’ve had to deal with. Notice how you talk to yourself when you feel like you haven’t done your best or missed the mark. “How did you feel about yourself and your role in what was going on as you processed the information?” asked Trump. Do you scold and belittle yourself? Many of us do.

Now imagine someone you care deeply about describing how they felt after hearing a negative response to their job or request. Imagine them explaining how worthless they felt and wishing they had done something different, while blaming themselves for not doing enough. “What would you think of them and what would you say to them? Compare the difference in how you treat and reassure them with how you talk to yourself.” Trom knows you were probably nicer and more generous to them. Next time, apply the same compassion to your own situation.

4. Work on your assertiveness

The next step to showing confidence at work is to practice assertiveness so you can stand up for your values ​​and needs. This means knowing what you want and communicating clearly with others “in an assertive but friendly way, without being confrontational.”

To get good at this, you need to revisit your center. The next time you notice someone getting defensive about your request, or if you don’t feel comfortable asking for what you want, ask yourself questions. “What’s really bothering me? What do I need? What would make me feel good here?” she said. Question: How can I phrase this so that it is clear that it is not anger? How can I communicate more respectfully?”

Trom’s advice is to apply empathy to the other person. One of Trom’s clients was recently frustrated that taking notes in meetings always seemed to happen to her. Rather than simply venting her frustrations, assuming malice, or allowing resentment to build up, Trom advised her client to “suggest that this task was deliberately centered around the participants and create the process for future meetings to ensure that everyone got a chance to take the notes. Instead of focusing on the problem and the frustration in the victim role, put your energy into the solution and communicate in an assertive way.

5. Reward yourself

Finally, look back and reward yourself for your achievements so far. It’s so easy to go through our work and make step-by-step progress without stopping to think about how far we’ve come. Celebrations don’t have to be grandiose, even a congratulatory diary or an acknowledgment of victory before dinner can suffice.

“We tend to focus on what’s to come: the next goal, the next achievement, and we rarely take the time to look back at what we’ve accomplished so far.” But this can inspire confidence. Trom suggested acknowledging successes in a diary, for example at the end of a hard training period or work sprint. This way, as you persevere, you know that a period of reflection is coming. It doesn’t feel like you’re going to toil forever. Use the reflection time to note the strengths you brought up.

“The most powerful emotion we can use is love, and loving yourself leads to the confidence to show yourself exactly as you are and motivates you to keep striving for success.” This starts with acknowledging and celebrating your victories, no matter how small, and rewarding yourself accordingly.

Master the art of showing confidence at work

Master the art of showing confidence at work by understanding confidence and what it looks like when it’s there, then connecting with your inner sense of calm to find this feeling more often. Upgrade how you talk to yourself when things don’t go according to plan, practice getting your words across assertively, and reward yourself for the wins. The confidence you seek is within you, now is the time to bring it out.